Does Sex Sell?
(A BBC News 24 Investigation)

The scene: Female BBC News reporter, two invited "expert" guests (both female). Reporter asks Does Sex Sell? Were the likes of Edwina Curry and Ulrika Johnson right to kiss and tell?

Female Guest 1: No, of course not... cackle, bitch, moan, whinge...

Female Guest 2: Rubbish, those men asked for it. It's fair game... cackle, bitch, moan, whinge...

Reporter 1: Cackle whine bitch?

Female Guest 1: Cackle, bitch, MOAN, whinge...

Female Guest 2: CACKLE BITCH WHINGE!!!.

Female Guest 1: MEOW!!! BITCH BITCH BITCH!!!!

Female Guest 2: WHINGE WHINGE BITCH MOAN CACKLE!!!!!!!!

Female Guest 1 and 2 and Reporter: WHINGE WHINGE - BITCH MOAN - WHINE WHINE WHINE BITCH CACKLE!!!!!!!!

Me: Change channel to Sky News

Chatroom Life Saver Not Noozeworthy in UK

Firstly, read this.

If, perchance, that link goes foul, try this one

My gripe? The total lack of mainstream UK TV reporting on this story.

In the UK, unless an internet chatroom story is about "a kiddie fiddler lying in wait for an unsuspecting teen" it lacks the required "elements" to make it newsworthy. I'm reminded of the recent "porn-spam in email" reporting, where most TV channels used a 14/15 yr old girl's "shock" at clicking on a link in an email to be then presented with a porn site - a site depicted on TV as a bunch of overly-made-up tarts promising "not-very-much-at-all" inside...

It stinks, folks. UK TV News companies are all guilty of alarmist reporting when it comes to internet stories. They're all guilty of vague "over there somewhere, finger-pointing" and are obsessed with kiddy-fiddlers.

Advice to parents: Educate your kids about real life. Real life includes chatrooms and therefore the internet. Your kids are as likely to be "overheard" by someone with a "responsible attitude" who is likely to steer them onto the straight and narrow as lead them astray.

Tony Speaks for the Dead

In front of a packed press conference, British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, was answering a question about crime and crime figures. In the course of his answer, he said:

If people [...] have been killed as a result of crime, they don't want to hear about the statistics.

Never let it be said that Tony is out of touch with the man on the street. He can even tell us what the murdered man on the street thinks!

No Facts Here!

From BBC News Online - Shuttlecam to give rocket ride

What's wrong with this? Well, assuming you've read the story, firstly the camera is not on the shuttle, it's mounted on or near the main fuel tank, facing the wrong way - which makes it useless as a mock rocket ride. And note that the beeb reporter "claims" it will suit "armchair rocketeers" and those that can't afford a real ride into orbit. Irene Brown is yet another "Blue Peter Trained" BBC News Reporter, methinks.

And as for what we'll get, well... Irene for the BBC says two things: The camera will be rolling - and relaying - an extraordinary view, looking down from above at the shuttle, starting about 10 minutes before lift-off and continuing through the vehicle's arrival in orbit 8 1/2 minutes later.

The cameras are good for just one flight each. They will end up on the bottom of the Pacific Ocean along with the remains of the external fuel tank, which is jettisoned shortly before the shuttle reaches orbit.

So that's clear then - we'll get into orbit and we wont get into orbit. Nice one, Irene. Give yourself a U - ungraded - for course work.

No News Here!

So John Major, ex British PM and ex-leader of the ailing Tory party, strayed from the home nest some 15-20 years ago. Big deal. Edwina Curry, ex Tory MP has told (and sold?) the kiss-and-tell story now diarised in The Times. Well, surprise, sur-bloody-prise. It's not like she's ever been shy of exposing sex in the "corridors of power" - Ha! It's about time she fessed up!

So Johnny and Eddie had an affair. Big deal. It ran its course between 1984 and 1988 (as reported by BBC and Sky) - that's history - not news! And comparatively speaking, ancient history! Yet, with increasing phoney alarm and phoney shock, the news media are, right now, giving this, this... non-story, this non-news, top billing - it's the lead story.

In classic no-news-here style, the media are digging for scandal - sorry, "real news" - but finding nothing. In so doing, they're asking anyone they can get hold of for comment. Without exception, those that answer the media's questions have nothing to say - they have nothing to add to the story, not one of them knew anything about it - back then or now.

There's No News Here, folks. People screw. From all walks of life, they come together (some of them don't even bother with that part) and do the fluid-swapping thing.

Well Done Sky News!

Lord Jeff Archer has just had his wrist slapped for guzzling down a few jugs of champers at a party while on home leave from prison. The authorities have taken a dim view of this and decided he should be moved from his previous prison dwellings at an open prison to a much more secure, closed "old fashioned" prison - in Lincoln.

Sky sent a reporter there. He stands outside the prison reporting on the story. Pictures of JA arriving? Nope. Did he *see* JA arriving? Nope. OK, did he discuss him arriving...? Nope.

All he did was discuss - rather shallowly I might add - the rules that JA had broken by slurping on champers while on home leave.

And Sky proudly state he's "live outside the prison" - big deal. He could be dead in a bog for all the difference it made.